Sunday, September 6, 2015

summer's end...

Last year I turned 50. It was a big deal. 51 seems anti-climatic. But this year flew by.
Some things I wanted to do are left undone. Some are finally finished. 
Having a birthday at the unofficial end to summer...Labor Day weekend...can be a bit chaotic. I like it though because it takes some of the emphasis off of me. 

This weekend has been full of those moments that you don't want to end, moments that you wish would've ended sooner, and moments that you wish had never happened at all.

Hank's mom, grandma Jill to our boys, is in the hospital again. I've stopped counting the times she's been admitted in this year. It doesn't really matter. The last time we visited her at home, I knew something was not right...that this time around her recovery wouldn't be as easy...if at all. 

We tried to convince her to go back to the hospital, or get a home health aid, but she refused. If you know Jill, she has to do things on her own terms, in her own time.
I guess that time came a couple of days ago when she called her sister to take her to the doctor. The doctor sent her right to the ER.

She's not telling us much. She wants to talk with Hank alone at some point. The boys are scared and tensions are high. We are all stressed and we can all feel the heaviness in the air. Hank wouldn't even let me hug him...I tried three times. He's never refused a hug. 

One more day and then school starts. I've never been more ready to get back to some semblance of a routine. I think we all need it right now. It's been a grand summer, with lots of lake time, BBQs, time with family and friends, weekend trips and a trip to the ocean. I'm so ready for fall. 

So ready to fall...into the arms of Jesus.



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