Monday, May 13, 2013

a letter to my aunt...

dear aunt,

you know i love you, right? if you don't by now, i'm telling you so.
i may not always live up to your expectations of what love is, but i do try to let you know in my own way. i may not always call you, or send you cards and letters, or gifts on your birthday (i do call and i do send cards)...but i love you and think of you often.

i learned a long time ago that people disappoint. it's better not to have such high expectations. because no one lives up to them...it's human nature. we all fall short. i have learned a time ago that i should place my hope and trust in Jesus Christ. He never disappoints. He's always there...always willing to listen and to just 'be.' i've learned that when i place my hope and trust in the Lord, i have the strength and perseverance to move on.

life gets busy. yes, it's an excuse. but it is true. i think about calling you all the time. but then i get going in my day and the hours pass by. when i finally tuck the boys in and sit down to relax with my husband, the last thing on my mind is a phone call...to anyone. those days merge into weeks and before i know it, a whole month has gone by. then i really am going to call you, but you happen to call me first.

i'm sorry i disappoint you. i really don't mean to. i truly love and appreciate you and ALL you have done for me and my family throughout the years. i will never forget those moments.
but please do me a favor...please do not place any expectations on me. i will always let you down.
and it's just not fair to place that guilt on anyone.

i cannot tell you this on the phone, in person, or even in a letter. you would become angry and bitter and probably never speak to me again. i know this because you've done that to others in your life.
instead of offering forgiveness, you carry resentment. and i cannot change that. only the Holy Spirit can move you to forgiveness.

you will always have a place in my heart. no matter what.

your loving niece,
affectionately know as 'droopy drawers'

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