half a century!

so this came in the mail today…

are you kidding me??!! am i THAT old?!

i'm surely not feeling like 50. 

in my mind, i'm still a young 30! 

but my birth certificate states otherwise.

bummer. 

half a century gone. 

i cannot help but feel a bit sad and melancholy. 

a whole season of my life has passed by…

don't get me wrong, i'm extremely grateful for the life i've had so far. my wonderful, loving husband and three beautiful boys bring me joy daily. i guess i never really thought about how old i was, or what i would do as i aged. a 'career' seems to elude me. i've had seasons of life that brought me to where i am today. God has seen fit to guide me here, so it must be where i'm supposed to be at this time in my life. 

it's a good life too. we have all we need. we love. we play. we work. we explore. we learn. we educate. we serve. we laugh and cry and fill our days. and the days pass on to years. that old adage "time goes by too quickly" is true to a fault. i want to rewind a few years so i can start things a wee bit earlier in my life. but then again, i suppose things might be different now if i did that. 

with time, change happens. it's a fact of life. change is not always a bad thing. i like change. most of the time. my boys are growing up strong and healthy and knowing the Lord. my husband and i are sharing this awesome journey together, growing and learning so much along the way. 

i wouldn't trade this life. no way. no how.

but i'm starting to feel and see the effects of aging. brown spots, wrinkles, aches and twinges. my body is changing. it can't help but change. no matter what i do to slow it down! 

even with all that, i am grateful for my health. God has given me that gift. and while i am still able, i will do what i can to maintain that health. 

and age, i must. inevitably. 

but i have a choice…i can fight it the whole way, or i can do it with grace. 

i think i'll do a little of both ;)