too old for high school drama...

i don't know why i get caught up in all the drama of people.

focusing my thoughts and attention on that 'stuff' always takes me to a place in my head that tells me i am not worthy, disliked, unloveable, invisible…

i really don't like feeling that way.

i hope that i am a decent friend. that i am not too needy, but needy enough. that i am not too chatty, but chat enough. that i am not too distant, but distant enough. i hope i'm not too clingy, but clingy enough. but i cannot change who i am. either you like me or you don't. either you include me or you don't. it shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

and yet somehow it still does. and sometimes it hurts.

being vulnerable and naive sucks. but it's all i got. God made me this way. it's who i am. i'm not ashamed of it and i embrace it.

it's time for me to be that 'intentional' person i set out to be at the beginning of this year…time to focus on God and what He has in store for my life. no, it's not about me. and it's most certainly not about you. it's about what He wants to do with me for my life. some call it purpose. destiny. whatever.

i'm done chasing. if you need me, you know where to find me.