i'm sure most of my followers know by now that my husband and i are training to become foster parents with NPCS. It was a decision we made last year, as we stepped out in faith.
last evening, we attended one of the many required meetings in our endeavor to become what they call "therapeutic foster parents." these MAPP Panel meetings consist of staff members, seasoned foster parents, and clinicians, as well as other foster parents in training.
it was a great opportunity to meet some of the faces we will be working with on a regular basis, as well as some of the newbies, like us (they even served pizza!).
as the seasoned foster parents were talking, a very overwhelming feeling of "what have we got ourselves into" came over me. i kept reminding myself that we were not in this training to become temporary foster parents or provide respite. we are in this to adopt. period.
i kept saying to myself that this or that wouldn't apply to us, because we were adopting. right?
but then one of the seasoned parents said she first got into this to adopt, and after two tries to adopt failed, she threw her hands up and just decided to foster. ???
i am uneasy about that.
and again, they went on about difficult situations and "problem" children, like throwing wooden spoons and apples and one teen even punching her in the jaw! i sank in my seat. is this really what's right for us?
no. i cannot be that foster parent. we have to think about our boys too…and keeping them safe.
but we still want to adopt. maybe now it's changed from wanting a child to wanting a baby. that way, we can help mold that baby and grow that baby the way we raised our own. we definitely wanted someone younger than Jake anyway.
i suppose we shouldn't judge anything right now; and we wouldn't know the child until we are "in the thick of it."
i am just praying that God knows our hearts and what we can handle as a family. i am praying that He will lead and guide us through this training, and bring us that one soul that fits with our family.
please join me in that prayer.