here i sit...

i'm sitting here, looking at the litter of papers and clutter and dust that covers my desk. it was clear once upon a time...

i'm sluggish and tired and worn from the clutter in my life. i guess my desk is a good analogy to my life right now.

not that we are too busy or not too busy. i think this summer has been a good mix of doing and going and chilaxin so far.

it's just that 'stuff' clutters my mind...finances. a dirty house. laundry. papers to be put 'somewhere.' scrapbooking supplies sitting there, collecting dust as well. home projects that should have been done years ago. still unfinished or still waiting to be started. a playground area overgrown with weeds and no one wants to pull them, including me. the 'behind-the-house-forest' wrought with overgrown vines, sumac, and other weird looking vegetation that i dare not touch without gloves. i did have it cleared once this spring. but alas, i could not keep up with it. the constant barrage of questions and smart alec answers from my mcmonkeys. the bickering when they are hot and bothered. the 'we're-not-satisfied' moans and groans when we say, no.

nothing.ever.satisfies. i know this to be true. as human beings, we always want something more. something bigger. something better. it's almost always not what we already have.

can we just be satisfied with what we have? right now? right here? this moment. this hour. this day.
but it eludes us. nothing satisfies. nothing, that is except Christ my savior.

today i will focus on Him. on what He sacrificed for us. for me. i may be stuck in a rut, but i'm not dead and dying in my sin as i was 12 years ago.


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