Friday, November 11, 2011

not pregnant...

today marks 2 months without a visit from "Aunt Flo."
I have been feeling bloated, eating like there's no tomorrow, feeling a wee bit nauseous, and extremely tired.
Sound familiar?

My dear sweet lovable husband says, as he talks to my belly, "hello in there!"
What??!!  Crazy man! There's no baby in there! I am 47 years old and Hank had the big "V" over 6yrs ago.
There's no way that I am prego! Hank says, "1% fail." ugh. I'm too old for this!

Well, to dispel this myth, and to "rule out" the obvious, I bought a pregnancy test today. It felt extremely weird. I thought I was doing something wrong! LOL!

Of course it was negative.  negative.  I thought I would be happy.  It was actually disappointing.  Even Hank was disappointed.

I just knew I wasn't pregnant, so why do I feel this way?  So unexpected.  I thought our family was complete.  I thought I was done having babies.  So why these feelings of sadness and disappointment?

???

5 comments:

  1. I enjoyed my pregnancies so much then to have beautiful babies from them just makes them so precious....but when we get to the other end of the the child barring cycle its sad..to know that its not going to be anymore..even though we really don't want to really have another baby ..the thought that we no longer can makes it a little sad..does that make any sense to you???
    kathy

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  2. I have not once seen a negative pregnancy test (even when I took one at 12 weeks post-partum once in terror, not wanting to be pregnant AT ALL) without being sad. Not once. Even when expecting to feel extreme relief I've felt sad.
    I think that some part of us knows God's truth when He calls children a gift. A negative pregnancy test feels like unwrapping an exciting and mysterious box and finding out it's just an empty box.

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  3. I have to agree with Lauren. Even when I didn't think I wanted to be pregnant, a negative test always made me sad. With that being said, when I was pregnant with Hava, I had 5 negative tests before my first positive one and that was when I was 6 weeks late.

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  4. :( hugs my friend!!! i have no words of wisdom, just a big cyber-hug

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  5. I've done the same thing. I wouldn't be disappointed to be pregnant with a "miracle" baby. At the same time, I'm happy to be in this season of no diapers, late night feedings, all the stuff that goes along with a new baby etc.

    I felt sad for a moment and then I snapped back to reality :)

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