most of my "social" life has been spent on the outside looking in. sometimes, even at the age of 46, i still feel this way. at times, i feel like i'm back in high school...with the little cliques in social settings...you've got the princesses, the cheerleaders, the jocks, the party girls, the popular girls, and the loners. the socially inept. the girls that don't get asked to the parties or the sleepovers, or the prom. that was me. i was ridiculed and called names. i was used for my straight A's (one girl actually friended me to copy my homework). i spent my lunch time in the library because i was afraid to sit by myself in the cafeteria.
this feeling stayed with me through college. and i longed for a close friend to go through life with. it took me a long time to find such a friend. we had so many awesome moments together. then lost touch. then found each other again. then she moved away. we lost touch again. then reconnected. now, even though we don't "see" each other on a daily basis, or even talk on the phone much. we keep in touch via fb and email. i miss my "bestie." and i have been trying to find another like her to fill her shoes. someone i can confide in and see face to face daily. well, that's just not happening.
mostly, i have "acquaintances." people in my life that i see often, but don't really hang out with, or get into deep conversation with. Even if you see a person every day, if your interactions are superficial, they are probably merely an acquaintance and not a friend. If you only see the person in a group setting or in public places, it's likely that he or she is just an acquaintance. Generally you will spend time with your friends one-on-one or at each other's homes. With a friend, you typically take time out to specifically spend time with him or her whereas when you see an acquaintance it's because they happen to be present when you are doing something else you want to do or seeing another friend.
i found this "definition" of a best friend on urban dictionary:
"A best friend is not only someone you have a good time with, it is also someone you believe you can trust your life with. A best friend is the first person you call when the most amazing things happen in your life, and when the most horrific incidents happen. A best friend is the person you will always remember no matter what comes about. Some people lose the only true best friend they will ever have, and even when they get new "best friends" .. that old, real best friend is always on their mind. A best friend is almost like real family, a best friend gives the opinion you usually care most about. A best friend is the one who tells you the things you absolutely need to hear regardless of whether you want to hear it or not. A best friend is the person you usually can be around always and never get sick of. A best friend is someone you don't envy, and is the person you are grateful to have as a friend. A best friend is the one who will forgive you always, even when you've screwed up so bad.
And a best friend is the one who even though you may have drifted apart from, when the time comes for them to hug you or congratulate you on an accomplishment or to console you on a loss.. they are the number one person you want to see, always because they are the person you've confided the most in and they are the person who knows you the best .. even when you both have changed. Your real, true best friend is your comfort zone."
even if you haven't seen or spoken to them for months or years but you know everything there is to know about each other and when you do see or talk to them, it's as if no time has passed at all.
i wish i lived closer to my bestie. i miss you Juju.