Tuesday, November 2, 2010

it's time...

recently i chose to take a sabbatical from fb & the other websites i visit frequently in my daily routine.
i have become spiritually stagnant.  i have been cowering behind the computer monitor for too long.

it's time for growth.

i have been saved now for 10 years, but i don't feel like i have.  spiritually, i still feel like a toddler...meandering along, curiously seeking, but not really grasping the knowledge of who God really is to me and who i am to Him.

perhaps my stumbling block is that i feel unworthy.  that perhaps my past is unforgiving.  that even perhaps my current attitudes in my life are hypocritical. this song from Tenth Avenue North (You Are More) speaks some truth to me about accepting God's love and having the faith to persue it:

"...she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try"

that's me in a nutshell..."too weak to try."  it takes an inner strength to seek God.  something i am lacking.  i rely on others to "feed" me my spiritual food.  in that respect, i am like a baby.  i need to step up and start feeding myself.

as Tenth Ave North says in the chorus of their song "You Are More:"

"You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade."

i am more...and i have been remade!  now it's time to act on that!
please pray for me as i take these next steps in seeking God and following Jesus.
it's a road that is long, and change may not occur overnight or even in a month.  but it's a road that i must go down...

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