Monday, May 3, 2010

Mother's Day .. without a mom

This will be the first mother's day without my mom.  it definitely feels strange.  i miss chatting with her on the phone, or sharing conversation over coffee.  i miss sharing stories old and new.  i just miss her. 

i also missed her last mother's day here on earth...because my sister threw her a BBQ and didn't invite me.  and that sucks.  and i'm still bitter about it.  wouldn't you be?

how is it that my own family throws my mom a BBQ and doesn't invite me?  i don't think i will ever get over that.  very sad.

but i am also moving on...

because i have three little boys who i love so much!  and we will make NEW memories for the many mother's days that follow.  :) 

i will always remember my mom and i love her immensely...but i cannot dwell in the past or on the sadness or the fact that she's no longer with us.  i know i will see her again...some day.

for now my focus must be on the present...my family, my husband, my boys. 

i love you mom.

2 comments:

  1. Maryanne...such a hard day to get through when your missing her so much! I remember writing a piece about our whole first year without my grandfather and it centered around all of the everyday regular things that sparked poignant memories of him...one of the lines was something like...some people might have trouble getting through their first Christmas without their loved one but when you are missing someone who made everyday feel like Christmas it is always difficult. I know you didnt just celebrate your mother on one particular day!! I'll be thinking of you :)

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