Thursday, January 14, 2010

my back is weary and my bones are sore...

so i'm sitting here in the livingroom...the only one awake.  all is quiet, except for the pad pad pad of the keyboard.  my muscles are sore.  everytime i stand up or sit down, i'm reminded of the many deadlifts, one leg squats, push ups, arnold presses, and bicep curls i've done in the last week.  brutal.  but not enough.

as i look aroung my house, i'm reminded of the many chores i've still to do.  the dusting, vacuuming, laundry, sweeping, mopping, changing of bed linens, and the dirty windows!  ugh! 

and my desk is clear once again...my scrapbook supplies lay there...waiting for me to pick a piece of patterned paper to go with a picture, a title to start a new page, embellishments to choose.  but i have no motivation.

i see my bible laying on the counter in the kitchen, along with the two books that i am studying, Extraordinary Faith and The Excellent Wife.  but they remain unopened.

i look around and see the many projects that have been started but not yet finished, and just file it away in the back of my mind.  but it eats away at me, undermining my peace.

i try to see the "good" in having my father-in-law live with us, but i'm often tempted to focus on the negative...our lack of privacy, his ocd in hording clutter and buying things just because they are on sale, his endless newspapers!

i cannot get my mother-in-law to stop buying things for my boys...no matter how much i tell her there is just no more room in this house!

everytime i open the freezers, i'm reminded that i need to rotate the food in them, but just choose what's in front. 

i used to be such an organized person.  i used to work out 6 days a week and LIKE it.  i used to eat well during the week and then eat whatever i wanted to on the weekend.  i used to read a book in less than a week.  i always finished what i started. 

i can't quite keep up with it all.  two days go by and i realize that i haven't given the boys a bath, or that i haven't mopped the floors, or that i haven't spent time meditating on His Word. 

i don't sleep well.  and it's not just because my husband snores, or my muscles ache, or i had too much caffeine in a day..although that may have something to do with it.  even if i take all of that out of the equation, i still come up short.  i'm tired.  weary is more like it.  as an old friend, Don Gaylord wrote...my back is weary and my bones are sore.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly how you feel! Take comfort in knowing you aren't alone. Not only can I relate, our Father in Heaven knows how we feel and will guide us through. ((hugs))

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