I feel that I've entered a sort of "black hole" in my life. I'm tired all the time, even when I get enough sleep...which doesn't happen often these days. Either my husband is snoring to beat the band, or my boys are sick.
My body and face are showing my age. I have "old lady" hands!
My mothering duties have taken over my life. My hobbies have all but disappeared into the background. I cannot even read a magazine article without several interruptions.
My chores around the house are never-ending, especially LAUNDRY! I should open a laundramat!
I cannot remember the last time hubby and I went on an actual date, other than to grab a quick lunch or coffee while out running errands.
My voice seems like it's become just "white noise" to those around me, especially my boys, who seem to think "stop" means "go" and vice versa!
Going out with "the girls" is non-existent, and my best "gal pal" is my mother-in-law, whom I talk with almost daily. This isn't a bad thing in and of itself, but when combined with the above, is quite pitiful to me.
I've entered the black hole of motherhood.
Most of the moms I know with children in the same age group as mine are 10-20 years younger than I; and the women that are my age, either don't have children or their children are grown.
When my boys are in school, other moms are either working or homeschooling.
It seems I lack comminality with most.
This is my last year as a mother of a preschooler. My church canceled MOPS this year, and I so looked forward to going.
There's a void in me...a black hole.
I long for a close friendship with someone other than my husband or mother-in-law. A female counterpart whom I can share tea and sympathy with...perhaps "sympathy" is too strong a word. Because I don't need sympathy.
It would be nice to have a gal pal to go to the gym with me, to have coffee at the bookstore once in a while, to catch a chick flick with, or just to chat about daily trials, struggles and successes.
With every passing year, this seems farther away. The void gets wider; the hole deeper.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my awesome husband and my three wonderful sons!
But a woman needs another woman to inspire her, to laugh with her, to mentor her, to console her, to understand her...
(In honor of this post, I have changed the title of my blog from "Vertically Challenged" to "The Black Hole of Motherhood.")